Afraid of Encounters

My Personal Appendix N (Appendix I!)

I'm really late to the party on this one, but I've finally put a list of media that truly inspires me as a Tabletop RPG fan and creator.

When I think about what inspires me, the list quickly spirals out of control. I don’t pull from just one tradition or genre. Instead, my influences crisscross between cinema, games, books, the real world, folklore, and Tabletop RPG itself.

I've put them into nine broad categories. Each one speaks to a different facet of how I imagine stories, worlds, and characters, whether it's through my works (already released or currently in development, either Tabletop RPG or video games) and the sessions/campaigns that I run.

I also try not to put something just because I love them. Some of the things that I love doesn't necessarily inspire my works. For example, I am a huge fan of Steven Spielberg, Christopher Nolan, and Denis Villeneuve. Their movies have a huge impact on me, but not my works.

And my inspirations aren’t only distant giants, but also the people close to me who challenge me, question me, and make me better.

1. Cinematic Drama & Moral Complexity

I’ve always been fascinated by flawed characters and the choices that bind them. These works showed me that real tension often lies not in spectacle, but in human weakness, betrayal, and the struggle to live with the consequences.

2. Horror of the Uncanny

It's not my Appendix N if there's no horror! The uncanny is horror close to home. Ghosts in the family, shadows in the house, something off in the familiar. As someone who's born, raised, and still living in Asia, horror movies from the region taught me how unease can be woven into everyday life, and how the line between the sacred and the terrifying is paper thin.

3. Cosmic Horror

Those who know me already predicted that this one would be here. Cosmic horror: the vast, uncaring universe and our smallness within it. These stories and games shaped my sense of the sublime. Awe and terror blur into each other. Survival feels like defiance.

4. Weird Fiction

This one is rather recent. When working on The Knight Errant, I find myself immersed into the weird. The blending and mixture of science, fantasy, horror, and other elements. The gonzo. If cosmic horror is about vastness, weird fiction is about strangeness. These authors, the pulp visionaries who haunt old anthologies and Appendix N lists, showed me that stories don’t have to comfort or even make sense. They can be lush, grotesque, dreamlike, and just plain weird.

5. Epics

Stories with such large, mythic scale really do fascinate me. But the thought of writing an epic long-form adventure, or even running one (even though I've done it in the past, several times), seems scary. But these epic, mythical elements, shadowed by decay, and the inevitability of change, are things that I try to put into my works and sessions when I can.

6. Games of Agency, Choice, and Systems

Beyond stories I consume, there are stories I play. These games shaped my love for agency and consequence, showing me how much weight my choices carry. Well, at least in video games, I can load my older save if something that I did made me feel like crap lol!

7. Tabletop RPG

Compared to other creators, I'm still new to Tabletop RPG. I started playing back in 2016 and released my first work in 2020. I haven't made my own game yet, but I'm working on one. And I already know which games that are influencing me during the process.

8. Camp, Satire, and Meta

Not all inspiration comes from seriousness. Sometimes it comes from absurdity, parody, and breaking the frame. I love works that wink at the audience, embrace camp, and undercut expectations through humor or excess.

9. Grounding in Reality and Folklore

And finally, the ground beneath it all: real life history and folklore. Real politics, culture, and society (especially from Indonesia and Southeast Asia) are what anchor my imagination. Creators like Zedeck Siew remind me that myth and magic are already here, in the stories our communities tell.